Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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