My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
