Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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