I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
whose parrot is this?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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