Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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