I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
