Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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