It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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