Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
