i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
