so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
