i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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