so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
