I puked a lego.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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