He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
