yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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