when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
