dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
