Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
