It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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