I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
