She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
