I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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