i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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