why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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