Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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