i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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