AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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