Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
