Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
