watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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