she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
