I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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