We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
