maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
