the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
