we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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