Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
