So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
