i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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