i wish starbucks made bloody marys
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
