do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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