Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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