went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
