Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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