i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
