She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
