yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
