I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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