After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
